Clouds

of ice cubes

clink,

stirred into

cherry blossom skies.

Yellow,

spiked with

pink,

a splash of

grenadine surprise.

Wedge

of lemon garnish,

sinks,

consumed in

cobalt tides

as

silver lightning

blinks

and

starlight sparkles:

evening’s eyes.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

Romans 12:14

Of A Mother And Son

When he was eleven

she handed him over

to be turned to a man.

He cried up to heaven.

Innocence was over.

Since then, he's tried to stand.

She is now eighty-four,

cannot see, cannot hear,

but will not accept help.

He, pulling from his core,

love, is forever near,

though she may call him whelp.

Hey. I know it's been pretty rough. You've gone through some shit no one should have to deal with. But I need you to believe me when I tell you you're better off for it. I know it hurts now, but believe me, you'll do some great things, and you'll meet some great people. You'll get through this just like I did. One day you'll meet someone who will change your life. she'll be your best friend. No. She'll be like your own sister. You'll go through everything together. You'll be an idiot, and she'll ground you to earth. Everything you do, she has an opinion on. she's truly the best friend you'll ever have.

But hold on. we aren't through this yet. things will get way worse before they get better, but don't worry, because you'll meet a friendly giant who will show you how to live your life once more. He'll teach you things you never knew, and you'll be the best friend he has (his words by the way). you'll meet a girl, and she's going to hate you, but that's not going to stop you from crushing on her for a year and eventually getting your heart broken. But believe me, you'll survive, and because of her, you'll learn the wonder of music, and even act in a play (and like it). Yeah. Those two things that you've hated basically all your life. oh and that computer crap you keep doing. yeah, that junk's boring now. you're gonna wanna get into English. It's a heck of a lot of fun.

You're going to reach your first low at the end of your first year at your new home, but you shouldn't worry, because you'll have writing and music to turn to. Those are real lifesavers, you know. and after a whole summer of being bored as heck, you're going to meet a really cute girl. she's really the best. her brother becomes your PE talking buddy, and you're going to start sitting at a table at lunch with a chic you hate simply because your friend wants you to. other than that, super uneventful. well push comes to shove, and you end up dancing with the cute girl in theater, and from that moment you will literally be in awe. the weirdest feeling ever. later on, you ask her out. And you won't believe what she says. She actually says yes. You date for a month and a half and you'll be really close, but don't let your wants get in the way. it's not meant to be. You'll break up. you'll reach your 2nd low as the world begins to crumble around you. you'll be trapped at home. you'll try to work things out and it won't work. all will seem lost. Eventually, she'll stop talking to you and it will be the worst feeling you've ever felt, in your life. But chin up. Life moves on, and you will be happy again. I wish I could tell you more but I really must be off.

Yours truly~ You

There is a difference between courage and fearlessness. To be fearless is to be ignorant and stupid in your ways, but to be courageous is to know you’re afraid and yet to still be in control. Courage is not the ability to have no fear, as to no longer be human, rather it is to be able to look at your fears head-on and admit you’re afraid but to continue to stand.

I fear tomorrow as I fear an hour from now. I do not know what will happen nor do I know if I’ll even have a tomorrow, but whether I do don’t doesn’t matter. I am to live in the present for the future, not in the future of the present. An ant does not worry about whether she will be crushed within the next minute but instead works vigilantly for the time she has for her sisters and mother.

We are in the middle of a trying time. Fear is all around us. Fear is within us. If anyone tells you that they don’t fear tomorrow they have lied. The truth is we are all scared but that fear should never be given control. In the months that are to follow, ask yourself something. Is your life finished? The answer should be “I don’t know”, because the truth is most of us don’t know. We don’t know the future. Not even our own. But courage is the ability to stand up and say to the unknown that you don’t own me. Stand up and say to each other, the truth. You are scared. We all are, but isn’t that what makes us human? Aren’t we supposed to help our neighbors through hardships, loving them as if they were of our own family?

I don’t know what the future holds but I do know that whether we like it or not, Future is readying his pitching arm for the throw, and we need to be ready to catch it scared or not. Because that is what separates courageous from the cowards

Chin up, cuz the sky is blue and blue is the best color. You could tell me I'm wrong but to tell me I'm wrong would be to tell me that the sky is not my friend and then where is my chin to go but down to stare at the ground, and what's so great about the ground? Isn't it quite brown, that ground? I much prefer the sky which by now is dark, but I can't say I hate the dark, as the moon leaves its mark, on the ground below. So chin up I say. Chin up to the sky. To see the moon. To see the stars. To see the entirety of heaven looking upon you as you find your way to them, and as the morning sun rises, chin up to see what's next, because if your busy looking down, you're missing the joys ahead. So I say once more. Chin up.

All the days you live in fear, you will forget. I know at times it will feel like that is every day, and at that time, you think you will never be able to forget the fear. The face of it, the smell of it, the ache of it. But you will. The days you remember are the ones in which you live.

You know those moments. You know those moments. When your heart feels as if will burst through your chest but not from anxiety, from happiness! At first, there aren't a lot of moments like that. And you will struggle a lot to find and keep the happy in your life. Time and again you will push away the blissful moments, those who bring you involuntary smiles, laughter and peace because you don't believe you deserve these things.

It will be more than a decade that you struggle but life will have its way with you, because you're just not meant to despair forever. You will walk a path of healing, of growth, self-discovery and love. You will hold hands, gaze into the souls of and exchange hearts with so many beautiful people. You will write your truth, and it will save your life.

You will become more beautiful than you ever thought you could be. There will be amazing people who cycle in and out of your life, and someday, I believe, you will find someone who will cycle in and not want to cycle back out. Someone who will be a permanent hand to hold, soul to dance with and keeper of your heart. Hopefully ten years from now, I can write me all about him.

For now though, I can tell you the future is a beautiful place. You created a life of struggle for yourself, being you, and that's okay. Because beautiful does not mean easy. But 90% of your beauty comes from your strength. So go ahead and get knocked down, you will be so much stronger when you get back up.

Oh, and you are so very loved.

Always,

Mee

Sometimes

I dream

In shades of you

There's always music

In those dreams

Like there's music

In every seam

Teasing the fabric

Of our existence

We who were bound

By music

Found

By music

Drowned

By music

Until we learned to float

Above it all

Until that last

Curtain call

In the beat

I hear it

Your heart

The way it sounded

My ear

So near it

Do you remember

What it was like

To dance with me?

I remember

I know I'm broken. I've let everyone down. My words on paper are much more appealing than than those I speak, just as life is fantasized as better than in person. If you read this you see a part of me no one ever sees. If you talk to me you see the opposite, but even my most honest writings may as well be a lie. I never write my broken nature. The side that if you ever see, might hurt you. It's sharper than glass, and just as broken. Few know how I feel. Few see my pains. Few see what I've seen. I've been beat and bruised till the monster was made. Now I fight and claw not to let him out. He wants to hurt you. He wants to see you suffer. But he can't. I won't let him out. He can't hurt you. I care too much for him to get out. I'm broken but not beyond repair. One day someone will fill the void, tame the monster, and fix the cage. I know I'm broken and now you do too.

[Living Onward]

What happens when my thoughts are all that remain of me? Will anyone remember me for me? will the pages of the mind be enough to carry me onwards? will my words reflect the life I live? will the hate drown the joy, or will my hope save a life? am I a fire that can’t be tamed, or a shaken match left to smolder. my thoughts are often of love, hate, joy, pride, sorrow, and even of my Lord in Heaven. My thoughts, no matter what they’re about, normally lean towards darkness. they say garbage in garbage out but I see it darkness in demons out. because of this, when my thoughts are all that remain of me, I will live on.

[Forsaken]

Religion is the hope for those who have none. God is the father for those of no love. The Lord is oxygen. You don’t need to see it too know you need it. I can’t prove to you God is real but blind faith is strong faith. If eternal life is true then there is hope yet for the weak, but without it, we are but animals awaiting extinction. When I die don’t cry for me. I have hope and I have faith.

I have been forsaken by the world but not by God. My sins may break my faith but my true father loves me anyway. I am not accepted by man and I am hated by some of those I care about, however, my hope won’t fade. I will love and I will care as I am commanded. I have no trust and I have lost my mind. If I lose my care I lose my hope