Let’s throw it away

The work doesn’t matter

We’ll say it was play and not care for the shatter

Let’s give up the pain

Why should we resist it?

Complain of our train after days that we missed it

Let’s find the next task

’Cause we have to keep going

We’ll tear off the mask and leave everything showing

Let’s sit down together

Never mind that’s insane

I guess birds of a feather will share the same brain

Living it up

Drinking it down.

Having fun

In a new town.

It's old to me,

But young at heart.

Soaking in

The audacious art.

Walking around,

I find appreciation.

Talking to guests

Wash away any apprehension.

A short stay

Is all that's needed,

To feed my soul

To feel completed.

Take a lover before you’re physically frail

However linear time may interfere

Send blood to the cheeks before permanently pale

Eventually bones, joints, and ligaments fail

Oh to bask in the sweet carnal veneer

Take a lover before you’re physically frail

The body’s a temple and then it’s a jail

A waterlogged vessel difficult to steer

Send blood to the cheeks before permanently pale

Don’t wait until the end of your tale

For smiles and temptations in nursing gear

Take a lover before you’re physically frail

As your coffin lies waiting for that final nail

Tortured missed chances year after year

Send blood to the cheeks before permanently pale

The blunderbuss is loaded and you are the quail

Life barely lived and this is the fear

Take a lover before you’re physically frail

Send blood to the cheeks before permanently pale

Dear Mom,

I am sorry I'm not more like Mollie. And I know you love me for who I am but I don't. I wish I was her too. I'm sorry for my attitude and my need for perfection but no motivation because I know Mollie has the motivation. I'm sorry I don't make you laugh more and I'm sorry we have stopped spending time together. I miss you. The truth is I am scared for us to be close again. Ever since I got over my separation anxiety I have been worried if we get close again it will come back. I'm sorry I compare myself to others, and I'm sorry I hate the body and person that against all odds you made. I'm sorry I have let you down because I know I have let myself down. I only hope when I am a mother, I have half the women you are. I hope I have half the love you gave me, Mollie, and Steve. I hope I have even half the drive to help others. And half the compassion and love for raising us as you had. I wish I could be better and I swear I am trying and I will make you proud, whether in this life or the next. I love you.

Stop watching me

Stop looking over my shoulder.

Stop checking if I’m doing things right or wrong.

Don’t come close enough for me to feel your breath.

Stop screaming in my ear.

Stop asking me for help.

I’m not here.

I’m not here for you.

I’m here for myself.

Don’t get close enough for me to feel your breath.

Don’t let me know your here.

You’re not welcome here.

Stop the world.

Leave me be.

Leave me alone,

Please.

A little bit

closer now

hands clasped

frozen

fate

fixed

forward

to ward death

bent to anchor

this new muse

not yet ripened

by age

just a little pin

prick on

a pulsating vein

a mimicking God

flaunting suicide

someone somewhere

thrown blind

into the

deep black abyss

expanding the spores

of pain

these

remaining days

filled with

abstract radio waves

and long dead

pixels of

ghosts

these remaining days

standing fearless

on the heels

of the

devils

hooves

Prosers:

(finish this with one stanza in the comments)

I loved his whole essence.

The reflection in his bright blue eyes.

Each time I fell deeper and deeper into his trap.

He was captivating. Held a sense of power over me I couldn’t quite shake.

I waited for so long to find someone who knew me in ways others couldn’t

I was there when he when me. But distance when I was the one in pain.

I was planning on leaving him. Planning to escape his pull.

Before I got my chance to run, he surprised me with a ring.

I soon realized this ring was my way out.

Take the money and leave the man. The words I repeated each morning.

Her love was all I needed.

The way she looked at me. Filling my heart with hope.

She made me who I was. Her gentle tone and empathic ways, made me hope for the best.

She was mine, mine to have love. Mine to cherish.

She was the princess in the tower and I was her prince.

Always there for each other. Two souls together in the pain of life.

I planned to marry her. Spend each waking moment by her side.

When it was time, I finally asked. Asked her if she would be my wife.

She was so moved, moved by my love for her. She was obsessed with me.

I will spend the rest of my days loving her. She was mine forever.

I will carve out a place

to face

myself, I need a rhythm and a reason just to

trace my cells

to keep track

of all the ways that I have

become my own

my being, my person,

to start to call this skin "home"

I will challenge the lies

I will fight back the tide

I will look in the mirror and I will not be denied

If it's this figure, then I figure

"leave the bad thoughts behind;

all the persecuting bullies

were just words in your mind"

I gave you a place in my heart

under a starless sky

in fertile fields

my love in full blossom

waiting for the harvest

You came into the rows

whispering a promise of forever

while feeling the earth

under your feet

I asked you to be gentle

with my heart

to tread lightly on the fragile earth

You smiled a cherub's grin

and offered me your word

You tore up the plants

meant for harvest

and threw them on the hungry fire

You ripped them up by the roots

to allow nothing behind

You rooted out every seed

and put them in your pocket

My earth cried out to you

twice

begging for a word

You took my words

and turned your back

just like the dream I had

Now my earth is sterile

empty

and I am the twice deceived

because not only did I trust you with my heart

but I thought I had a place in yours

June 15th, 2:40 A.M.

The wind’s picking up. My heart aches.

Lightning. Thunder. Carpe diem.

Hurricane screaming. My earth quakes.

Downpouring rain, pain and mayhem.

Avalanche, tornado, or shakes?

3:40 A.M. I’m insane.

The storm is here. Where’s my cocaine?