'Mountains' by Prince started the morning off right, winding around a few stones of Prose., one legendary, preceded by two new bloods whose words cut through like butter beneath blade. Beautiful words from these measured and magnificent artists. Kick back, but also let it all fall off the sides and get into the words of these writers. Smooth and rich, like coffee, like all things that last.

Here's the link to episode 32 on Prose. Radio.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTiBo32fmDs

And here are the featured pieces.

https://www.theprose.com/post/814678/10-minute-walk https://www.theprose.com/post/814650 https://www.theprose.com/post/814328/news-flash-it-appears-that-its-not-so-much-how-you-cope-as-where-you-cope

And.

As always.

Thank you for being here.

-The Prose. team

When I was younger I never brought much thought to all the things that life provides, for what was I to know, I didn't put much thought to anything. When I was younger all I wanted to do was spend all day having fun. I never appreciated the things that really mattered, but that's okay because that's normal for a kid, but when I grew older it hit me harder than I could ever imagine. Oh how clueless I was. I started to learn what it was like to lose everything I never even knew I loved. I learned what true sadness was. I learned how suffocating depression was, and I began to think it would never end. A full four years feeling life just hated me, it truly was hell. But then, one faithful day, she released me from her unloving arms, the depression that is, and I never felt so complete.

I quickly learned the Beauty of Life. I discovered that I love the beauty of nature, and all that it provides. I found that I love the way the birds sing songs and make me feel at home.I realized how the calming breeze kisses your skin on a hot summer day and how amazing it feels.

And I came to love the way the trees dance with such rhythm. I began to truly appreciate the small things in life and vowed to myself to never let these things go unnoticed. That was of course until life decided to start hitting me again.

I discovered true fear once life began to hit me again. Paranoia struck and I thought maybe, just maybe, depression would pay me another visit. But I thought back to the promise I made myself. Never let the small things in life go unnoticed. Appreciate everything that comes my way. So I did. I fought, for the only things that truly matter are the little things that constantly provide for you, and keep you alive. Things like the comfort your family provides you, or the breath-taking smile of a loved one. Oh I really love music. I love the enchanting sounds it makes, and the emotions that emanate from the strings of a guitar. I love the story the singer shares, for everyone to listen to. Everything said and done I love the beauty of living. I love the little things that life provides you.

ive cried every day this week

and I'm not sure why

ive never been so fucking depressed

but it's alright

or at least I think it is

i've listened to more music

but each song makes me sad

ive paid much more attention to the words

"I had a feeling so peculiar

that this pain would be for

Evermore"

i listened to that song for an hour staight

while crying

and lying in bed instead of going to work

keeping my boyfriend worried

keep him on his toes

i'm on my toes too

i don't know why I feel like this

why it wont stop

no one is mad at me

so why do I feel that the world is against me

like there is a gun to my back

i almost want him to pull the trigger

he wont

who cares what I want

but I just want to be okay

why is it so hard to feel normal

fuck

fuck

i cant stop my fingers

they move at lighting speed

writing the longest poem know to man

nobody will read it, stupid

it's not pleasant, because my mind hasn't been pleasant

nobody wants to know what you're going through

they want to read an entertaining piece of art

write that

no, I don't want to I can't

who cares who reads it, I wrote it

barely, I havent even got out of bed today

i woke up at 2pm

lazy

sloppy

ungrateful

be better

i can't

im trying my best

so try harder

i can barely keep myself clean

THEN TRY HARDER

i cant

i cant

i cant

you wont

you wont

you wont

your the reason for all your problems

self-sabatoage is your middle name

you wont get up

you wont work on your album

you wont write poetry

you wont smile

you wont change your clothes

you wont take a shower

it's possible, you just wont

you want to stay sad

admit it

you like feeling helpless

you like that lack of control

i dont

but you need it

i can't have this conversation

you wont

you avoid confrontation because you love it

fine I wont have this conversation

goodnight

I ponder

Do I exist at all?

Do you?

How do we know this to be true?

©S.J.Reed

Delasity is a word of my own creation. Delasity is all that exists beyond our limited understanding or comprehension in this lifetime, as we know it.

I remember sitting outside at night many, many years ago (after eating a healthy dose of “magic” mushrooms) watching the trees sway in the breeze, seeing the many stars in the sky and the moon shining its light and casting its shadows. And I could see the life-the energy-in everything and I was everything, and nothing at the same time.

In that moment, I could feel everything that existed beyond what my eyes could see, and my mind was opened to the immensity of what we do not know or understand. And I knew, even if we could know the answers to all the mysteries surrounding the meaning of life, we could never fully comprehend what those answers would mean within our human minds.

It's just too big, too immense, too boundless and limitless to be contained within our human form.

This is Delasity.

©S.J.Reed

A scent (and sixth sense predominates),

when apple boughs

and other aromatic flora

laden with blossoms and fruit

gently assail cilia of the nostrils,

aside from aiding distinguishing

pleasant or unpleasant smells

additionally incorporate complex structures

of the paranasal sinus mucosa

in which function

critical linkedin to respiratory defense.

Cilia beat in a coordinated manner

to clear the paranasal sinus cavities

and upper airway of the mucus blanket

that contains the pathogens and debris

continually inspired in normal respiration.

Avast extent of following poem

crafted a couple plus years ago,

when foretaste of temperate weather

covered swath of eastern seaboard.

Courtesy climate change

(think global warming),

I would forever wish to exchange

unseasonably warm temperature

(10 plus degrees Celsius

in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania today)

for brutally cold subzero windchill factor,

no matter unseasonably warm degrees

way out of expected range,

of established “normal”

far to balmy, undoubtedly

for the likes of old man winter

furious his blizzard snowbound

weather forecasts shortchanged.

Once thermometer readings rise

even smidgen one moost not minimize

Earth way out of balance,

an inconvenient truth

I haint gonna catastrophize

as bajillion acres plus

one after another ocean dries

even the skeptic cannot turn

third eye blind and believe contrary lies,

when every species practically extinct

and self proclaimed éminence grise

doth trumpet and stubbornly tries

to claim plethora unearthed resources

as sudden goldmine

against wages of sin

former traitor joe

(biden his time) redeemers actualize

to catalyze nth industrial revolution

teaching as heresy

ecocentric, which material basket

of deplorables power mongers bowdlerize

concurrence toward meteorological

trend most all people agree

toward adapting, experiencing,

and witnessing increase -

fair in height degree

bestowed upon Thomas Newcomen,

Richard Arkwright, Samuel Crompton,

Edmund Cartwright

and James Watt first Industrial

Revolution conferred as honoree

appellation not necessarily

in retrospect donned as noble pedigree,

now hundred of years

later downside we see

of belching, coughing,

disorging... yes siree

foul, (née deadly)

cancerous, gaseous, malodorous,

noxious, poisonous... pollutants.

Decreased dissension

grudgingly did abate

and one doubting Thomas less nasty

toward the braying donkeys in general,

when Democratic contender

clinched the electorate majoritty

unclouded protests muted trumpeting

base aggressivity, depravity,

and incendiary proclivity

for hunted prey (slapped

with felony charges that H_ lied

on a federal form

when he claimed being drug-free

at the time unnamed person

purchased a Colt Cobra 38SPL revolver

in October 2018)

hastening Grand Poobah to abdicate

irrefutable proof generates

contentious voices to accumulate

additionally disappointment

resolving global warming

activists linkedin over Green Party

blessedly to administrate

hoop fully figurative tide

will turn and aerate

political atmosphere whereby

progressive minds will affiliate

otherwise business as usual,

cuz spewing deadly particulate

will only aggravate

dire straits, where

webbed wide world series

of unfortunate events will airdate

prophetic apocalyptic fate

especially if nonprogressive

stodgy former el presidente

number Cuarenta y cinco

commander in chief re-elected

flush with bigotry and hate

increased chance (chants) ripe state

for revolution avast swath

of population to amalgamate,

and overthrow anachronistic government

absolute zero survival unless dramatic

nondestructive strategy eschewed

to supplant exploitation and mandate

radical transformation, which dramatic

shift off grid if lucky requisite

Earth friendly manufacturing

can possibly ameliorate.

There must be something wrong with me, I couldn’t help but feel.

Some logical explanation for the reason I couldn’t deal.

Why all of those around me seemed to move through their days with ease,

while I worked and sweated and dragged myself through life upon my knees.

I sought out every defect, tried to fix everything that was ‘wrong’.

Diets, mantras, self-help books, just trying to belong.

I studied, I worked, I adventured, achieving every goal in sight.

But no matter the great things I did, they never made it right.

The beginning of the answer struck like thunder in my mind,

one early mountain morning where I tried to leave the past behind.

In that fateful moment it came rushing back to me,

The reason for the terror that had so long haunted me.

The journey has been painful, often filled with panic and fear.

But now I know what was ‘wrong with me’, why I suffered all those years.

And though the road is rocky and I still have far to go,

I am stronger in the knowing, than I ever was before.

Each time the child in my mind is forced to fight those battles again,

That stronger part comes roaring out to take the pain instead.

You see, that ‘stronger part’ is the me of today, and now I know the truth.

There was never something ‘wrong with me’, it was cruelty, neglect, and abuse.

Now instead of pulling back, of pushing away the pain,

I stand my ground inside myself and reach for her instead.

The little girl of my yesterdays, who’s lived it all these years.

I look inside and find her there, and wipe away her tears.

Only now can we find relief, together it is sweet.

I will not let her suffer alone, I am no longer weak.

The path ahead is winding, we still have much to grieve.

But one thing I know is certain, there is nothing wrong with me.

Jet black darkness

Reflecting back no colors

Is the temperament

Pareidolia seeks

Curves and jerky continuity

Belie the lies of fluidity

Fencing in the beckoning darkness

When the vacuum peaks

Murky and menacing

Inviting but cold

Resisting but bewitching

What Rorschach mirrors wreak!

How I present

To others, unsightly

Ugliness inside and out

From a blotter of shrieks

"On which side of the Gulf of dreams do we walk and do we sleep when we think we wake?"_ Robert E. Howard

Chapter 1

It was a rainy evening as I waited for my friend to drop by. She promised to share with me a story so shocking that if she told it to anyone else they would have her declared certifiable and put her in a padded cell. I've always had something more of an open mind & decided to hear her out before I made my conclusion concerning the state of her psyche.

I peered out my living room window as the rain reduced the neon lights outside to squiggly blurs of blues and pinks and oranges. Behind me on my streaming device blared Weird Al Yankovich. The song was "Attack of the radioactive hamsters from a planet near Mars" or some such nonsense. Little did I know that that diddy about outer space would serve as foreshadowing.

Just as I was trying to wrap my head around how I came to live in the city to start with the buzzer to my apartment rang heralding the arrival of my friend, Janet Craddock. She hobbled into my humble abode using the singular crutch she'd been forced to use since a nasty car accident left her with a bum leg.

The crutch was one those more modern ones that clamped around your arm rather than fit under it. Many of us who knew her always asked the gal why she didn't turn it in for a cane. She told us in no certain terms that she wasn't old enough for that crap yet.

Indeed she was in her late twenties with blonde hair; which she took her cap off now to reveal, and blue eyes; which at this moment showed the signs of less than stellar sleep. By her own admission she was plain but she was comfortable with that plainess. She wasn't bending over backwards to make cosmetic companies happy.

Janet put her raincoat on the rack, her cap on top of the chest of drawers beside my entry way and made her way over to the couch and sat down. I slid a foot stool over so she could prop her leg and after I was comfortably seated on the couch across from her I begged her to begin her strange narrative.

"I know you have a dinner engagement," she began with a slight frown,"so I will do my best to condense this down in a way that still makes sense. But how do you fit a month long saga into a few hours?"

I got out of my seat long enough to shut off the music I'd left playing and returned still urging this friend of mine to tell me her story so she began the tale and from this point you will be reading her narrative with little interruption from me.

Chapter 2

We must go back to the night of the car crash that's where it began, really I just didn't realize it at that time. It was rainy then too;as I recall that's what kicked off this whole thing.

People always seem to forget how to drive in the rain. I remember the other vehicle t-boned me hard enough to roll my poor voltzwagon. I don't remember what the other vehicle was or much else except the medical personnel putting me under for tests as I made it to the hospital.

That's when it happened for the first time. I didn't think much of it at the time and chalked it up to the anesthesia. I eventually faded from consciousness as is to be expected but when I came to I wasn't in the hospital I was in some sort of single person vessel hurtling through space.

I could see the stars sailing by like those little bugs that fly past your car windows at night. I realized I had fallen asleep had just woke up from a strange dream. I had been in a vehicle from one thousand years in the past.

I was in a single person exploratory vessel on a three month mission to Earth. Nobody set foot there for centuries. From our high powered telescope on Mars we observed that the land masses had changed and finally our curiosity got the better of us and the Space Force was sent to investigate.

Things went south when a major malfunction on the ship was detected. Rather than scrap the whole mission I volunteered to go to Earth and stay the three months and report back. So I was put into the pod. And well let's not tiptoe through the tulips. I was naked, completely naked.

The pod served as a decontamination chamber to rid my body of germs and microbes foreign to the planet I was traveling to. In this case the planet was of course Earth. We didn't want to introduce Martian germs to Earth and start a plague. You thought our flu was something awful? you don't want to contract the version that developed on Mars after we terraformed it.

Then I fell asleep inside my little pod again there I was back in reality in the hospital. I enjoy Science Fiction as much as the next nerd but I've always had some rather strong opinions on space travel and colonization as you know Walker and I've never shyed away from speaking my mind on the matter. For that reason it was absolutely strange to me that I would dream of being some far future astronaut.

Anyway the nurses and doctors gave the report you know about. That aside from my leg being a snafu I'd come out unscathed. I thank the good Lord for that everyday even when my leg acts up. That night I slept off the rest of the anesthesia and more of the crazy dream followed. I was jarred away by a large jolt and a loud, obnoxious beeping. My pod had touched down. The hatch opened and I got out.

The air was far fresher on Earth than on Mars and and it felt good against my bare skin. Speaking of which I didn't plan on meeting the natives in my birthday clothes.

I opened the compartment behind my seat that would have housed my space suit except some dimwit or person in the throes of excitement about sending me through the cosmos had forgotten to put the suit in the heat proof wrapping. It was melted to my pod from the heat of reentry.

I let out a sigh of frustration and said to myself,"Well Lord, I guess I'm gonna have to walk around like you made me for a while."

Forgetting the lack of wardrobe I turned my attention to the pod itself. The landing had been unkind to it and the communication equipment was out of commission. So there I was naked as a jaybird and cut off from Mars. Oh well, three months would pass and they'd send out the Space Force to retrieve me.

Walking away from the shambles of my pod I noticed the pleasant feel of the grass beneath my feet. I still wasn't fond of my nudity. Much to my amazement I found a tatter of cloth in some tree branches and pulled it down. It was only enough to cover my lower body like a skirt but it would do.

I followed a trail and was met halfway by a group of men and women. I would have been uncomfortable with them seeing me topless if not for the fact that they too were dressed in only skirts and bare chested. Some of the women wore ornate gold plates over their breasts like what you see in a lot of vintage fantasy art. I found out the significance later.

A Christian I was raised. A Christian I remained but I knew some cultures, especially tribal societies thought little of their nudity not because they were wanton or immoral but rather because no one told them it was naughty or indecent. I assumed that was the case here and I felt somewhat less awkward in my current state.

These men and women were for lack of a better, politically correct term swarthy in complexion with jet black hair arranged in all manner of coiffers. The man who led them looked me over. I was flabbergasted to hear him speak English. I don't know why I guess it just never occurred to me that it would last in its current state that long.

He addressed me,"You aren't from this land, are you Young Lady?"

"No Sir," I said, "I came from above. I pointed upward to the sky which had a nice yellow hue to it. I crashed around sunset.

"You must be descended from they who departed to the Red World."

"That's right," I said.

I took them to what was left of my pod and they seemed to marvel at it. I was taken back to their village. It was beautiful with houses made from thick branches and sod roofs. Nearby was a lake. It was used for swimming and bathing. A well was used for the drinking water. I was introduced to the chief an elderly man whom I placed at around eighty. He looked me over and said in a mystical voice,"The Star Father has dropped you into our laps for a reason, Janet of the Red World. I do not know what the reason is."

After this strange encounter I sat around a campfire eating venison. I noticed a lack of firearms. In fact the deer I feasted on had been harvested with a bow and arrow.

I had dozens of questions. They'd have to wait until morning though. I ended up sharing a hut with another single lady in the village. The beds were not too far removed from the ones you and I are accustomed to. They were made of wood and the bed linens of silk.The pillows were also a type of silk stuffed with straw. It was very comfortable and I woke up in the hospital.

That was the last of this strange series of dreams or so I thought until a month ago. The story gets stranger from here but the pattern has been set. Hold onto your hat.

Chapter 3

I got up once more to retrieve some bottled water from my cooler. After accepting the liquid, my friend continued her story.

So there was more to come as I found out. Let's see here. It was the beginning of last month. I believe. Yes, that's it exactly I know because we'd just got back from seeing that new comic book movie.

I went to bed and woke up by the lake starkers. The strange dream of my life from thousands of years ago faded into mist barely memorable. That's the nature of dreams. I'd gone for a skinny dip in the water. Of course skinny dipping was the only kind of dipping any of us did.

After my swim I lounged on the grassy shore and ran my hand lazily through the water. Was this how it was with Eve before the eating of the fruit,being naked in an innocent manner and curiously taking in the world around her? It was probably during this time that I fell asleep.

The woman I had gone swimming with smiled down at me as she toweled herself off. "I see you're finally up," She said,'' any more of those dreams of yours?"

"Yes,'' I said, trying to shake off the lingering cobwebs of slumber, "How long did I sleep for?"

"Twenty minutes by my best estimates," she informed me.

How was that possible? How could so much time fit into only twenty minutes? Why did these dreams seem so real?

As to the questions I had upon my arrival to Earth I shall answer them all at once without taking into account the learning curve for the sake of time.

By this point I had been on Earth for three months, even though in real life assuming that's what it was that amount of time had not yet passed. My pod Which was moved into the village the day after my arrival was moved into an underground storage beneath the village.

In that same chamber was housed many books and other records of importance concerning the Earth's history before and after the ascension to Mars. The villagers gave me unlimited access to this collection. They were far from illiterate and well educated. I feel I must describe their culture before I fill you in on the history of this Earth.

They were the descendants of the Native Americans as I learned from my research. The tribe–and it was a large one–were monotheistic worshiping God as I know Him but calling Him the Star Father just as their predecessors had called Him the Great Spirit. I asked the chief about this and he explained, "Why, The Star Father is the supreme being. He created the stars that dance among the night sky. Thus He is the Star Father just as a man who sleeps beside his wife and sires a son is that son's father."

I couldn't argue with that logic. I decided to not insult my hosts by badgering them with questions about their lack of attire. Despite being bare except for loincloths, if even that, they were not a "loose" people. In fact they were a very chaste society and premarital intercourse was frowned upon.

No one taught them this. They concluded untold centuries ago that committing the act would be like opening a gift before its appointed day then rewrapping it.You already know what the gift is when it is finally given to you. As a consequence you're still happy with it but something is missing. So this must not be how the Star Father intended it to be.

It made one think. Now as to the history of the world itself of course we know about Musk and his interplanetary endeavors. Well, in the history fabricated by my dream Space X was bought out. The buyers put up a well crafted facade of continuing his vision of affordable space travel for all. Instead in the end all the wealthy rocketed to space leaving the have nots to fend for themselves.

I won't go over the subsequent economic fubars and chaos that ensued but when the dust settled and everything looked like something from a Road Warrior movie We found a way back to a simpler existence. Animals were once again the primary source of food and transportation.

Most of the arts were handed down through the generations; others like gunsmithing, were no longer feasible and lost to the dusty ages. Black Smithing reigned supreme & now all conflicts were fought again with sword and spear.

Without the government big wigs in charge the Native American tribes were able to leave the reservations and reclaim much of their long lost land. Some of it was reclaimed in bloody conflict but mostly peaceful coexistence prevailed.

Tribes and clans were the social structures now. And eventually years of intermingling and intermarriage resulted in the Chokas, the people who I was now with. There were other tribes scattered across what had once been the United States. I was not the only "pale breed" on the planet but the only one that lived in that region. The others lived further North.

No matter ethnicity, tribal life was the predominant way of life.

The reason for the odd shape of the land masses made sense now. One hundred years prior to my arrival a global earthquake occurred that made the waters rise, wiping out the islands and coastal habitation. Hawaii was beneath the oceans now. What was Great Britain & Japan fared no better. Florida, New York and California were washed away and Louisiana was still around but the wetlands had reclaimed most of it.

This information should satisfy my colleagues when I was finally retrieved from Earth. However some unforeseen circumstances would occur that would change all that.

There were survivors from Hawaii and they lived in a coastal region on the edge of the sundered continent. "They follow strange gods and are what our ancestors would have called standoffish."

This was said to me by Darnell Prouddeer. He had been the one who led the Chokas to my crash site three months ago and he was one of my closest friends. Very close.

So now you know the history of this strange new Earth in a nutshell. After I put my loincloth and moccasins back on I walked back from the lake towards the village and once again I was in my home in the present day. The alarm clock let know me that much.

As a side note as you know I've tried to stay a healthy weight but I've never been what you call fit. Well in these dreams, assuming that's what they were, I was nearly amazonian. We're talking abs and biceps the whole shabang. I was admired by even the bulkiest of warriors among the village.

Women who fought in the few conflicts that arose were not uncommon but those with families weren't frontline fighters as a general rule though they were still trained in weapon arts so they could protect themselves if need be. It also wasn't uncommon for a man with a daughter and no son to teach his daughter things like hunting as he would have had his son. So it wasn't odd to see a female Choka riding out on a hunting trip or a woman practicing with her weapons though most of the warrior women were those who were unmarried and had no children or married but not yet with child. There will be more on this shortly.

Chapter 4

To avoid this becoming tedious, my friend, I'm going to plainly state the pattern that's already been set. Each time I would wake up or otherwise find myself on this weird version of Earth some time would have passed yet I could recall that time perfectly though my life in the present day would be only partially remembered like a dream.

The same thing would happen when I woke up in the present day. I could also spend days and even nights on end in this world only to wake up and find little time had passed while I slept an hour or so at most.

Getting back to it I found myself with Prouddeer. I'd left the underground library after browsing the book shelves. I was happy the Bible and most of the classics had survived despite having gone out of print 300 years prior. These books were all in very good condition.

Whenever I wasn't busy boning up on a thousand years of history I would try to repair the busted communication equipment but even though I'm a woman of science, even in real life, engineering wasn't one of my specialties.

Back to me and Prouddeer. We'd left the library and now he dove off into the water with a wooden box and came back up a minute or so later for air. "Whatever are you doing?" I quizzed him.

With a smile he said,"Wait Sunhair and see!"

He disappeared beneath the water again. Sunhair was the name the tribe had given me. He resurfaced two more times, the second being the last.

He walked out of the water and showed me the contents of the box. It was filled with clams.

"So those are clams!" I exclaimed in awe.

"You don't have them on 0the Red World?"

"No, unfortunately we don't. We didn't bring any sea life with us. I don't really know why; that was long before I was born."

He asked me about Mars and I explained what I knew from the historical records about terraforming the planet & all that had happened there as I knew it.

"So did your forbearers find what they hoped to on the Red World?"

"They were looking for what the Chokas and the pale breeds here have."

"They do not have it?"

"No Mars is in a similar state to Earth when they left."

He didn't say anything else for a second then he made a very profound point. "What else could be expected? When you flee from yourself you take yourself with you."

"There are those of us who wish for a more simple existence."

"Perhaps they should live here again."

"Maybe."

This dream ended here.

The next one involved the inevitable arrival of a search and rescue team. Both my housemate Matilda Grassdancer and myself were waiting for bread to rise in the stone oven inside the hut we shared when the village came alive with shouts and excitement.

We rushed outside to see what had happened and saw a spacecraft touch down. It was from Mars. The Chief looked at me quizzically and I explained it was the research team. They were clad in space suits similar to the one I would have worn if not for–well you already know that part.

I recognized the leader of the group when he removed his helmet. In fact he'd served as a chaplain in my unit back on Mars. They had plasma rifles slung over their shoulders. "Janet! What are you uh…"

He stumbled over the words. Yes to put it plainly I was still topless. That hadn't changed and any qualms I'd had about my nakedness had ceased to exist during the three months on Earth. So it was sternly but politely that I made my point. "Respecting the social mores of another culture, Captain. That is what I'm doing."

He dropped the subject at least for now. I introduced the crew to the villagers and vice versa. Despite the culture difference, and I don't just mean the perceptions of modesty,everyone got along swimmingly and the rescue party even spent the night.

The next day my damaged pod was loaded up into the ship. I insisted on staying and this caused some conflict.

"Please come back Craddock," said the captain. "Their ways are not the Christian ways. They're naked and as such unchaste and now you're brazenly baring yourself to!

"They offer prayers up to some pagan deity called the Star Father. I'm begging you don't stay among them."

I could feel my temper flaring and it didn't remain hidden as I tactfully made my counter points. I also didn't appreciate the insinuation that I was becoming a loose woman.

"Captain, I've lived among these people for over three months. They are well educated and very civilized as you've seen from your brief stay.

"They are naked, yes but that is simply a difference in culture, one laced with innocence and there have been days here I was grateful for only having the loincloth about my waist and not the spacesuit.

"As for chastity they could teach us Martians a thing or two about what it actually means. You might be surprised that sex is reserved exclusively for marriage as God intended it. You refer instead to modesty and as CS Lewis once pointed out thousands of years ago: they are not the same thing.

He could think of no rebuttal so while his piehole was shut I continued. "As for this Star Father he is God. He is just named differently. The Choka are what remains of the Native American tribes. Just as their ancestors called God the Great Spirit & the Jews call him Jehovah so these people call him the Star Father.

"Who are to say they are less pious than us simply because they worship Him differently and call him something different. Our history is stained red because of such matters.

"No Captain for whatever reason my place is here with them."

"I don't understand you, Janet Craddock, but I have to respect your decision."

"Perhaps you could come back sometime and visit us. Earth is far more peaceful now than Mars is at present."

He silently nodded and boarded the ship. I watched it take off and Woke up in bed. For the next few nights these dreams were absent and I thought them to be at an end. I was sadly mistaken and the dreamscape version of me would regret having extended that invitation.

Chapter 5

There is no need to cover the entirety of my waking life. That would make this tedious. Neither is there any reason to recount everyday in that dreaming world if that is what that world was. I wonder to this day.

Eventually I woke up under a shade tree and this time I was confined to the Dreamscape for quite awhile. It was gift giving day and these days are quite special just like Christmas is to us.

I walked through the villages, for the shade tree I'd fallen asleep under was behind the village and nearby the horse stables. I had simply decided to watch them for a while and had fallen asleep in the warmth of the sun. Prouddeer flagged me down and presented me with my gifts.

The first of these gifts was a hunting knife in a handmade leather sheath. I accepted it with gladness and immediately strapped it to the girdle of my loincloth. The next gift was somewhat stranger and a little awkward. He produced two golden objects shaped like clamshells. "What are they?'' I asked?

"You wear hem," he replied with a smile.

I made to fasten them on my ears with little success & I'm certain my facial expressions indicated my puzzlement.

"No, not there,here," he said, indicating my bosom.

Of course these were breast ornaments like I'd seen some of the women wearing. He stayed to watch me don them. They stayed on via suction by the way. It was a little awkward with him watching despite how comfortable I'd gotten with wearing very little.

I was grateful for having a little more coverage on my breasts, scant as it was but if shells were good enough for mermaids they'd have to be good enough for me. "Now you can always have clams. Even if you decide to return to Mars!" He exclaimed with joy."

"Thank you my friend. I'm only sorry that I have nothing to offer you in return. Accept this if it is not against your customs." I gave him a quick hug and he returned it.

"That is a fine gift and is often given in place of material things," he said

Later as I returned to my hut, Grassdancer was beaming over a quilt given to her by her sister who lived elsewhere in the village. She saw the new addition to my primitive wardrobe and smiled. "Darnell Prouddeer has given you those no doubt."

"How do you know?" I asked, amazed at her deduction.

"I've seen you two together, a bond beyond friendship is blossoming there. Men of the Chokas regardless of tribe give women these ornaments as gifts as a first step of courtship.

"This is usually accompanied by another gift that pertains to the woman's station. You are also a soldier on your home world so he gave you a hunting knife."

"I'm not so sure."

"Mark my words. Come spring you'll see that your hut sister was right."

As to what she meant I shall touch on that shortly along with the earlier topic of women warriors. In the meantime the autumn and winter passed.

During these months the weather was cooler and we were surprisingly fully clothed. I was not idle. My research continued and I accompanied the Chokas on journeys of trade with other tribes and even the tribes of other ethnicities. I met and talked and traded goods with people from all creeds and walks of life.

I even met the survivors of the land once called Hawaii and they were indeed standoffish. Then November came along.

Once this month–though in that time it was called something else–arrived I witnessed the men and some of the women go out on what was the biggest hunting trip of the season. They were suited up in buckskin pants of a navy hue and breastplates made of animal bones held together with leather straps.

Headbands adorned with feathers and warpaints completed a look harkening back to their ancestors. They rode forth with spears, swords, and tomahawks and hunting bows. When they returned it was with a deer, a turkey, and a bore. The rest of the day was spent dressing out the animals and the huntsmen and huntresses were still gathered around the fire over which they roasted the boar and turkey long after I turned in for sleep.

As you can imagine I half expected to wake back up in the real world or fall into a dream whichever you prefer. However on the following morning I awoke from a dreamless sleep and found my hut mate cooking bread. I learned from Grassdancer that today was an ancient tradition called Thanksgiving. I explained that while I knew of it, it had fallen out of practice on Mars as it was considered offensive to some of the ancestors of the Chokas.

She stared at me as if I'd said the grass was pink. "I know well of the crimson history, Sunhair, but would your people really choose not to offend mortals by instead offending the Star Father by casting aside the day reserved to celebrate His gifts of harvest & friendship?" she asked me. She shook her head,"They cannot erase what was done after by burying the events that came before. It is forever branded into the annals of mortal history."

At the noon hour, the feast commenced and we all ate outside in the open. There were rows of tables and a spread of food the likes of which I'd never seen. Members of other tribes including the fierce rivals of the Lake dwellers(the tribe I lived with) set aside their differences today and partake in the feast. I was one happy Martian.

Winter was not as joyus. The flu season came in with a vengeance. I wondered if I had somehow transported its interstellar cousin with me despite the decontamination procedures. Prouddeer fell victim to the virus and I nursed him back to health.

Christmas came or at least it's equivalent in this age and the few villagers who were well gathered to give gifts. Darnell Prouddeer gave me a spear. It was lovely and showed how much he admired the fact I was a soldier and I had been training with the sword during my time among these people.

The influenza passed as it does though we lost some of our people. They were mourned and laid to rest on pyres so as to burn away any contagion. Then spring came and brought many changes. It was about that time I woke up yet again only to find a few hours had passed since I fell asleep.

Chapter 6

Had this been one isolated incident I'd have chalked to bad food or too many movies or pulp novels. However as you know it happened again and again.

What made it worse is that when I woke up here the memories of my experiences would fade as the images of dreams do. When I'd wake up within that other Earth my life here would be a fading dream.

It's nuts I know but it got to the point where I wondered which was my waking life and my dream life. Then another dream. This time it was in the spring.

The Spring brought changes to some good others to our detriment and it also brought an end to my account. There was far more to it but for the sake of time I have left out several details.

I was given in holy matrimony to Darnell Prouddeer. The proceedings were not conventional. On the day of the Equinox the men and women are split up. Each member of their respective group strips completely naked which as you know doesn't take long.

Then the men take up swords and shields and fight with the men. The women fight the women. The reason for nude combat is so that no person may be at an advantage over their opponents with superior armor and there IS armor as you will come to see.

These battles are a process of elimination. Each fighter strives to deliver three non lethal strikes to their opponents. After this mates are chosen from the winners. The men remaining select the women who remain. It is strange I know but it is custom. And more often than not true romance does blossom between the couples.

It is also not uncommon for Husband and wife to both be warriors or hunters. Swinging a sharp edge at a naked body can certainly end in any number of disasters. This was taken into account and the shields used are larger than those used in armored combat.

Of the women who remained I was among them. I had been cut twice, once on my torso and once on my shield arm. Of the men who remained was Darnell Prouddeer.

He didn't even glance at the other women and make no mistake the women of the Chokas are beautiful. He rushed up and swept me up in his arms. Grassdancer had been right.

In fact I learned from my new husband that very night as we lay together that he would have waited until next Spring if I'd lost the tournament. Indeed some of the women married that day were the ones whose bosoms were adorned with the scanty ornaments and their mates were the men who had gifted them.

After all cuts were bandaged, loincloths and/or ornaments were put back on we marched back into the village from the little arena just a mile away. In fact it was just to the east of my crash landing!

There was a banquet and the chief who also acted as shaman blessed the couples. Once evening fell the newly Weds retired to their huts. I thanked Grassdancer for her hospitality then moved my few possessions to Darnell's hut.

Afterwards he & I knew each other in the biblical sense. What happens between a man and his wife within the bedchamber should oftentimes stay there. This will be one of those times. I will not graphically describe our intimacy except to say at one point he spent five minutes looking into my eyes and caressing my abs.

I woke up in my husband's swarthy arms. The sun beamed down on us through a window and I found myself not wanting to leave our bed. He ran a hand up my back and through my hair.

"The sun shining in your locks makes you look like an attendant of the Star Father," he gushed passionately.

I pressed my lips to his and I felt a strange sensation. It wasn't sexual in nature. It felt like wisps of air passing around my body. When I opened my eyes I was in my bed with my lips pressed to my pillow.

Once more I was in the present day. I was devoid of muscle and had to walk about with a crutch. Some dreams you don't want to wake up from. Some are so pleasant that waking up from them is like being unable to wake up from a nightmare!

I know you know this. This dream if that's what truly was one of those. The constant switcheroo was becoming agony. I sought help on the matter and after much time in communication with my Heavenly Father I felt a trip to my campus was needed.

Professor Monohan was an absolute whizz in quantum physics and a firm believer in multiverse theory. What made him unorthodox and a little bit of a pariariah in the scientific community is his fascination with suspended animation. After finding out his office number I dropped in on him unexpectedly. "Hello, ma'am. You're not one of my students."

"No, sir. My name is Janet Craddock."

"Well, Janet, what can I do for you?"

"Well I have a bit of a strange situation and thought you might be able to help."

He didn't reply at once. He clacked away at his keyboard then studied his desktop screen for a few seconds. He looked at me again and signaled for me to continue.I told him everything that I've told you up to this point except even more briefly.

He was an attentive listener. At last he said,"There has been a long standing theory that dreams were actually our subconscious mind receiving images from parallel universes. While I certainly believe in the multiverse I don't think this theory applies to every single dream. In your case however I think it is very likely that you're not just seeing an alternate Craddock but that your consciousness becomes one with hers for the duration of your sleep cycle.

"This is why the memories are hazy and dream-like depending on which world you're waking up in."

I was silent for a moment. "So which universe is the main one?" I finally asked.

"That I can answer."

A look at his watch brought an end to this meeting. He headed to teach his next class and I went back home. I had been given answers and more questions.

Chapter 7

Sunday night I watched a little television and snacked lightly. My church had a potluck and I was full enough from that that supper wasn't appealing.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew was sitting in some sort of sweat lodge with the chief and my hubby. The chief looked at me with concern. "Did you see anything?"

I explained my vision even what had been told to me by the scientist. He scratched his head for a second "Hmm, it is a puzzle to be sure and only the Star Father knows the answers to dreams or these two seperate waking lives you live. One among us, one among the ancients."

The mysterious rite was at a conclusion and none too soon, for just as the chief finished speaking a shrill cry pierced the night and another of a different pitch. They'd both been from women " There is trouble on our threshold," said my husband.

We exited the hut as fast as we could. The women who had vocalized moments before were weeping furiously now. Several of the villagers had gathered around two horses. Across the backs of the equines were draped two bodies, one upon each.

The riders were apparently of a familial relation to the grieving women. They were what the ancient Natives would have called braves. They'd gone hunting and returned dead with arrows in their backs!

Prouddeer and the chief and a few others studied the arrows while some of us tried to comfort the women. The arrows were of the kind made and used by the Woodswalkers, the rival tribe that had shared in our feast two seasons ago.

The chief looked grim and spoke grim. "One day of feasting does not easily mend generations of warring. Death has walked this night in the forests. Our enemies have drawn first blood upon two young men who were clearly marked for hunting not warfare."

"What happens now?" I asked with an impending dread of the answer I already knew.

"We must go to the offending Chokas and request that they make amends. If they refuse we must go to war. This is our law and our way."

So this strange new Earth was not so far removed from the ancient one or even Mars for that matter. So as the chief had said so it was done. The men were given their rites and I suited up to join the war party.

There wasn't much to the armor. It consisted of a muscle cuirass. They were in the style of the ancient Greeks and the Romans. I was staring at a bronze replica of my musculature right up the breasts which were narrower and oval shaped versus the wide square shape of those on the male breast plates.

I was thoroughly impressed. It had taken one thousand years but humanity had finally created realistic boob armor. The only other piece was a helmet which is a little hard to describe. It had a Roman flare to it but there was something distinctly different. If I had to compare it to something it would be something an elf might wear in a fantasy setting.

Suited up in our scant armor and weapons. We rode half a day until we came upon the village of our rivals. It was in a man-made clearing in a dense part of the forest west of the village.

The captain of our procession addressed the chief who came out of his hut. "State your business," he demanded.

The captain was not one for eloquent speech. "You know our business. Chief Eaglewing. Two of our braves were killed by your arrows. We mourned them all night and buried them in the infant light of the morning. They'd been painted for hunting not war"

"Yet here you are," said the chief,"painted for war and clad in your armor."

"The Star Father knows we've tried to live peaceably with your people but you just won't have it. The influenza brought many of our people to His domain. We have few to spare on needless bloodshed."

There was more from both parties but it ended when the chief said they had nothing to make restitution for. Then all hell broke loose. Our captain ordered us to attack and so we did. It was a bloody battle with skilled warriors on both sides and I saw much carnage as huts were burned and warriors were mowed down like grass in a suburb.

I was locked in combat with one particular warrior. After I had relieved him of his sword he'd gone for his tomahawk. He swung with great force and I felt the bones in my arm rattle when I countered with my shield. Then I pierced him with my sword and he screamed and raised the tomahawk to smash my helmet.

I swung my sword and the curved blade sliced cleanly through both his arms. He screamed hellishly as blood spurted from severed arteries. I finished him off by crushing his skull with my shield. I'd been a soldier for years and had never seen a man die like that. I never wanted to again.

We did our damage and sent our message. So we left the scene with a few casualties of our own. As we rode the captain said "They will recover and retaliate. For now each of our tribes will lick our wounds. Sons and daughters were lost today over stupidity."

We made it back to camp and Prouddeer saw me with my bloodshot eyes,blood smeared armor and the memories of the armless warrior burned into my brain He scooped me up, took me to the lake and stripped me of my armor, loincloth and moccasins. Then he stripped and pulled me into the water and helped me wash the horrors of battle off me.

After this he carried me in his muscular arms back to our hut where we put our wealth of carnal knowledge to use. Later that night I walked out into the night air and looked up at the stars. I closed my eyes and was staring at my living room ceiling.

Chapter 8

No, my dear friend, I haven't forgotten your dinner plans and I will now try to conclude this account briefly as I can. Later in the spring when the weather was already slightly heating up indicating the near arrival of summer I was laying down by the lake were I spent so much of my time. I was gazing up at the constellations I had only ever read about in books.

Even after terraforming the atmosphere of Mars doesn't accommodate light enough for stars to be visible. So I tried to soak them up for as long as possible. I expected by now to be hurled back to my real life if that is truly what it was. However my stargazing was only ended by the arrival of my husband.

The following day everyone saw the ships touch down. Why were there two of them? They were from Mars alright. I got an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that I couldn't explain.

As we rushed to meet the martians Darnell stared at me in puzzlement. "What is the matter? Are you not happy that your friends have accepted your invitation to visit us?"

"I just have a weird feeling is all. Why did they bring two ships? Unless they plan to stay long term?"

"Why should they not? Come, Sunhair let us greet them."

Everything that came after, had come before long ago. The two ships bore those from Mars who sought a better life from the hedonism they'd inherited from the original settlers of Mars one thousand years ago. They gave the Chokas guns and taught them how to use them. In return the Chokas as well as other tribal societies they made contact with taught them skills long forgotten on the Red Planet, skills like hunting game.

When the tribe of the forest finally rose up against us they helped us beat them back. The most amusing event was when my old chaplain and some other clergy tried to do missions work among them only to realize that I had been right and that these natives were just as pious as I was despite the lack of clothing. At least that's how it seemed at the time.

So you see I was witnessing history repeat itself and I knew that this peaceful coexistence was not to last. The land just wasn't big enough for all of us even though it was.

One day near the start of summer one evening I had gone into the woods with my spear to stalk rabbits for dinner. I didn't bother with paints or any of that like the other huntresses. It was by chance or more likely divine intervention that my safari took me within range of the two ships about an hour away from my home. I could see the beginnings of a town ship being built.

I could also see a large crowd of Martians, all of them soldiers, gathered around the chaplain. He was speaking and I forgot about supper. From my hiding place among the woods I listened.

"Fellow Soldiers of the Nu Martian States Space Force, God has seen fit to lead us to this homeworld of our ancestors. It is teeming with all that we need, water, food, and most importantly fresh air. It is our promised land! But like the Israelites who God led out of Egypt we must drive the Cannanites from these shores!

"We have their trust so they will not see us coming. We shall strike at sunrise. Earth will belong to the Lord's Holy Children once more!"

They raised a cheer and as I silently fled from this nightmare scene my heart had become a lead weight. "Dear, God in heaven, Precious Star Father, why does it always end like this?"

Sweating from the warmer weather and panting like a tired hound, I madeit back into the village an hour later and gave my report to the chief. The following morning the warriors suited up. I had not seen my husband all night as he was part of a war council. I was vaguely aware of his climbing into bed sometime around midnight.

We both donned our armor and then he grabbed me up and pressed me against the wall of our hut and violently kissed me and I him. Once the "quicky" was over he looked at me with much concern."It is a custom among us for a couple to have intercourse before a major battle that way if one of them falls they will have a last happy memory together. This attack was so sudden that we did not have time. This was all I could do."

"Fret not my, husband for I will fight by your side until the bitter end." I picked up my spear with grimmest resolve.

He lovingly placed a hand on my shoulder. "No, Wife, you must not. We have lain together many nights and you carry the seed of our next generation inside you. Stay here and protect the others who must not be on the crimson field for this reason."

"I will do as you ask, Prouddeer. May the Star Father see you safely back to me."

We didn't have nearly as large of an army as we desired between the two clashes with the Woodswalkers and the influenza. It didn't matter. The invaders had the advantage with numbers and technology. I should know. We had wearable force field generators on our gear that would render the bows and arrows and melee weapons useless.

Anyway the army was assembled. Warriors made up the front line, those using guns made up the calvary,the huntsmen and huntresses who were not impregnated made up the rear. I could go into each painstaking detail of that battle but I won't.

Both sides met two miles outside the village. It was a hard fought massacre on both sides. Eventually a line of Martians broke through into the village. I'd lost sight of my husband in the chaos and now I had to concentrate my efforts on protecting my fellow females and the children.

I became a savage tigress. I drove my hunting knife through openings in the soldiers'p battle armor I could find. I slashed with my spear and sword. Then it was all over for me.

The huts were burning, several of my friends were dead and dying including Grassdancer, and I was soaked in sweat and blood. We tried to drive back the horde but were doing a pitiful job of it. I charged toward one lone warrior and he activated his force field just as my spear was about to hit home. The spear shattered and I was beyond livid.

I drew my sword just as I drew it back to deliver a deadly chop, something I don't know what exploded behind me. I was thrown forward, my sword nailed my foe in the leg and I hit the ground when I came to I was in bed and it was five in the morning.

A week went by without any more dreams of that sort. It was agonizing! I had to know what happened. Why couldn't I see into that other world anymore?

I grew desperate and sought out the professor again and told him of my plight. "The only possible thing I could think of would be for you to be in a deep sleep long term. Perhaps that will restore your connection to the Dreamscape as you call it. Assuming that the other you survived. It's possible that she didn't and that is why your connection is severed."

"You are a pioneer in suspended animation. Is there anything you could do to help?"

Within the week I was brought to his laboratory and placed inside a stasis pod which he modeled after the ones from a host of science fiction stories. I was placed into a deep sleep except instead of waking up in the Dreamscape I woke up in bed.

That's the story. I know it's bonkers but you must understand for the past month I've wondered if everything was one giant dream or if I'm still in that stasis pod and all this is a dream.

So my friend had finished her strange narrative. I recall a dream I once had where I woke up from a nightmare and walked through my house only to turn my neck to look at something in my living room and wake up in bed. I know she came to me seeking an explanation but this is something that could not be explained. I wonder to this day if she is still dreaming and I am but a part of that dream.

I see what is due.

The roar,

and shhh! of fire

Hermann...

pouring Swiss milk

chocolate bar

stains out

like shadows

in crime fighting

character...

all psycho

logical

gestalt

ha or

ach...

into the

satchel...

of the mind,

our yesterdays

and blotted out

tomorrows.

01.28.2024

Rorschach test challenge @AJAY9979