When I close my eyes,

I feel the quietness around me.

The world is dark, and that's ok.

All my stress is gone for the moment.

I let my thoughts and ponderings fade very briefly....

Then I come to with a headache,

And pull myself off the floor.

Then I remind myself,

When I close my eyes again....

Maybe I shouldn't stand up....

But should perhaps sit in a comfy chair.

when i close my eyes

its flashing lights

we weren't alone, but it felt like it

to breathe the air with you ,

to have a day

let's get lost, you

'd say

if i could hear you

now its so dark here, don't let go

hear the sharpness of my bones

hear the murmur of my heart,

i don't even know you and

im not sure if you an see me at all

but the clanging of my mind distracts me

and i no long can think long enough to remember

to open my eyes

i feel as though i am stuck in an empty space,

creeping through the cracks of this world

touching nothing.

i reach out in search for something tangible

but i am only caressed by the unfilled air.

when i close my eyes it feels the same,

but the only difference is

that you are there.

When I close my eyes,

I breathe better

'cause I see nothing

So nothing matters

When I close my eyes

I breathe deeper

'cause I hear everything

So everything hits softer

When I close my eyes

I breathe easier

'cause I feel one thing

So one thing kisses harder

When I close my eyes

I breathe lighter

'cause I feel something

So something burns brighter

And I take flight.

I see you,

when I close my eyes

you, only you.

You caress my mind

with everlasting serenity.

Now a long day behind

but a new day to come

I see you,

when I close my eyes

you, only you

You are the darkness I see

when my eyes shut tight

You are the quietness

like snow falling in the night

When I close my eyes

I see you, only you.

when i close my eyes

i used to dream of suicide

slitted wrists and too many pills

when i close my eyes

i dream of my last rhyme

my last words and my last actions

when i close my eyes

theres no more suicide

when i close my eyes,

i hear your voice.

figures of eight,

i didn't think of you yesterday.

what could i say

to make you okay?

what could i do

to hear you sing again?

will i always hear you?

When I close my eyes

she is gone.

Disappeared.

Vanished.

No one knows where

she could possibly have run.

Or why.

Or how.

Just that she has.

Dutifully we would mourn the loss.

If someone were ever to investigate,

I would meet my father’s gaze.

Imperceptibly, his head would shake.

Then, we would tell the tale of how she left

without a note, a hug or kiss goodbye.

How she left her children and husband

without reason.

We would say we miss her dearly

and wish the inquisitor well.

Shutting the door, I’d turn to him,

Tears of fear stinging my eyes.

Father would hug me the way fathers do

and whisper to me quietly,

“Daughter don’t be afraid.

Fire leaves no trace behind.

And 200 acres is a lot of land.

They’ll never find the body.”

when i close my eyes

i observe my observation

which notices the dark, blank canvas of thought

and i recognize how it manifests

or in some way is contacted by

ideas

when i close my eyes

and think intentionally

it is amazing to me

that my whole life is a dream

bordering on nothing

but only if i let it, maybe.

when i close my eyes

and focus on the images behind them

and realize that they are only there in my awareness

that the only real aspect of who i am exists

as a result of my decision making

i begin feel a great weight on me

and am reminded that my values are what's heavy

that everything outside of that is neutral

and does not have to affect me