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Only a fool would carry on reading.

She looked up at me as she cried.

I gave her a hug and wiped her eyes.

I saw a fear in her that couldn't be explained.

How do I tell her she would never see her father again?

Dear child, why do you cry and weep?

God has come and rocked your father to sleep.

He knew you would come to see him and not realize,

why he's not talking to you, and he apologizes.

He told me to tell you, he will see you again one day.

Don't worry about him, in the time that he is away.

He said he will watch over you, and watch you grow.

He said he will be at every graduation and ballerina show.

He told me that you might not see him because he has to hide.

He said name your favorite teddy bear after him and put him on your side.

So whenever you need to talk to him, or need a fatherly bear hug.

You can hug this bear from your father sent with his love.

I’ve heard that many times

People who gave birth to you are the ones

That will love you the way you are

Even if you are living too far

The love of a mother is true

The heart of a father is pure

These theories aren't something new

But I can't trust them for sure

Been hiding from them for many years

The true reason behind my tears

Scared of telling them the reality

Their reaction may hurt me deeply

One day they will know everything

I'll pull the trigger with my own hands

Before even saying anything

The bullet will hit their heads

The dream of their life will be gone

Their hope and happiness will go down

At the end they'll have to adapt

But pain in their heart will be trapped

They may smile in front of me

But cry when I'm not here

They may be drowning in a sea

My smile will make theirs disappear

To my former self I say,

The struggles will never cease.

The heartbreaks will never go away.

Hardships only to increase.

The pain is here to stay.

You want to hear that things get better,

But to tell you so would be a lie.

Don’t let your pain become your fetters,

But let it be your guide.

Or you may as well have never met her.

Time will leave you callused and scarred.

Leave signs of struggle without and within.

Your features will be scourged and marred.

And you’ll be left with thicker skin.

Your damages will be your guard.

As you approach olderhood,

let me assure you, you are understood.

You may feel as though you’re lost,

but let me tell you, you’re not.

You may feel hated,

but the opposite is true.

You may feel like a failure,

but everyone falls sometimes, you just have to get back up again.

You may feel too far gone,

but let me confide in you, you’re not.

You may feel unseen,

but let me inform you, your Father sees you.

You may feel hopeless,

but let me confess, there’s hope around the corner, just keep looking.

You may feel tired,

but let me declare, there is recovery in Him.

You may feel a lie,

but let me profess the truth.

You may feel bound,

but let me inform you, there is freedom.

I want to tell you as you approach olderhood,

don’t lose sight of who your Creator designed you to be,

don’t lose sight of the truth.

@adin

“Is it just me, or did that police officer look a bit like a pig?” Alex whispered.

Sydney elbowed him. How could he be so disgustingly calm about this?

“Ow! What was that for?”

She glared at him and hissed, “Will you shut up!”

He rolled his eyes. “What are they gonna do, arrest us? Oh, wait, they already have!”

“I don’t know you,” she said, crossing her arms and fixating on a dust bunny in the corner of the interrogation room. The muscles in her legs itched, but she refused to fidget. She was a professional.

Alex poked her shoulder. She punched his. The door swung open with a nasty creak and a woman with steel grey hair and steely eyes to match strode in.

“I’m Detective Andrews,” she said, setting a file on the metal table. “Would you care to explain what you were doing at the abandoned fairgrounds?”

Alex opened his mouth to reply. Sydney stomped on his foot. He winced and glared at her.

Detective Andrews cleared her throat. “Why were you at the fairgrounds?” she repeated.

Sydney uncrossed her arms and rested them on the table. “We’re paranormal detectives,” she said, her voice blessedly steady.

Detective Andrews raised an elegantly plucked eyebrow. “Really.”

“Yup! Professional investigators of everything that goes bump in the night. Our specialty is spirits, but we’ll take a look at anything weird,” Alex chimed in, twisting to avoid Sydney’s elbow.

The detective sighed.

Sydney grimaced. “Please ignore him. He was dropped on his head a lot as a child. What he means is, we look into situations that seem to defy a natural explanation.” She reached into her pocket. “Here’s our business card. We’re licensed and everything.”

Detective Andrews inspected the business card. “I see,” she said. “So what were you investigating?”

“The abandoned fairgrounds.”

“Why?”

Sydney took a deep breath and interlaced her fingers. “They've been abandoned since that girl was murdered, obviously. But people still pass them, walking through the woods. And teenagers party in the woods. We heard that they might not be quite as abandoned as they should be. Considering how the girl died, and those unexplained disappearances you’ve had, we thought it might be worth checking out.”

Detective Andrews scribbled someting into her notebook. “And what did you find?”

Sydney smiled wryly. “Well, detective, we found a dead body.”

Detective Andrews glanced up, unamused. “Did you see anything else? Anyone else?”

Looking down at the table, Sydney shook her head. Detective Andrews reminded her of her third grade teacher. It wasn’t her favorite memory.

“So you found the body. Then what?” Detective Andrews prompted.

“Then we called the police,” Sydney said. “And then we waited. And then a pair of lovely policemen showed up and escorted us here.”

“You don’t we did it, do you?” Alex was smirking, the bastard. Sydney wished she could punch the smirk off his stupid face.

Detective Andrews regarded him thoughtfully. Sydney tried not to squirm. Alex’s smirk grew.

“No, I don’t,” Detective Andrews finally said. “You don’t have enough blood on your clothes, the murder weapon wasn’t on the scene, and you don’t seem to have any motive.”

Sydney couldn’t help a small sigh of relief. “So we can go?”

Detective Andrews nodded. “Stay in town for now, though. We might need to ask you some more questions.”

“Sure thing, detective!” They needed get out of here before sundown.

Detective Andrews held open the door. “Let us know if you remember anything else.”

Sydney smiled stiffly. “Yes, ma’am. Will do.” She grabbed Alex by the arm and yanked him up before he could say anything stupid.

“Goodbye, Detective Andrews! It was nice meeting you,” he called out as she dragged him through the door.

“You know that your whole punching and dragging routine just made us look more suspicious, right?” Alex said as they walked back to their car.

Sydney huffed. “Sorry that not all of us are hardened criminals.”

Alex had the nerve to laugh. “I just find it hilarious that you’ve got no problem facing a pack of werewolves, but one little detective has quaking in your boots.”

“She wasn’t that little! And I wasn’t scared of her, I just don’t wanna end up in a small town jail. Especially when there’s a rabid vampire on the loose.”

Alex raised his eyebrows.

“Shut up,” Sydney said.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Yeah, but you were thinking,” she grumbled.

Alex grinned.

Sydney marched to the driver’s side of the car. Alex chuckled behind her.

They drove back to the campground in silence. Sydney glared resolutely at the road ahead, but she could feel Alex smirking.

The sun crowned the horizon as the RV's wheels crunched wetly over the gravel. A few enterprising droplets littered the windshield, promising a wet night.

Sydney groaned. "Perfect. Not only do we have to hunt a vampire on almost no sleep, but we've got to do it in the rain."

"Ah, cheer up. It'll be fun. You know how much you love stabbing things!" Alex said.

She rolled her eyes. "Do you ever think we should just quit? Settle down on different sides of the country, live normal lives, and never see each other again?"

He grinned. "You know you'd miss me. Besides, you'd be bored in a week. Admit, you need this. And you need me."

"I would not! Also, do you have to smile all the time? It's annoying."

His grin widened. "Someone has to balance out your grumpiness."

She crossed her arms. "I'm not grumpy!"

His face twitched as he forced his features into a serious expression. "Of course not."

She punched him, but smiled a little in spite of herself. "C'mon, it's nap time. We've got," she checked her watch, "a little over an hour before we've gotta suit up."

They crouched behind a tree at the edge of the clearing. The rusted carousel creaked eerily in the wind. Sydney's legs were beginning to cramp up from the cold. The relentless drizzle shrouded the half-collapsed tents in grey and made the lurid yellow crime scene tape glisten.

"I wonder what how long they'll look for the killer," she whispered.

Alex kept his gaze on the tents and tightened his grip on his dagger. "A while, I'd think. It's not like much else happens in this town. It's too bad for the carnies, though."

"And for all the dead people!"

"Well, yeah, them too."

A pale figure darted between the tents.

"It's here!" Sydney hissed into Alex's ear. He nodded and stepped in front of the tree.

Sydney slunk off behind a neighboring tree and flashed Alex a thumbs up. He returned it, then pricked his finger lightly on the dagger.

Something rustled behind the nearest tent, and the vampire leapt out claws first. Alex swept his leg up towards its ribs. It dodged easily, landing right beside Sydney's tree. She slid her sword between its ribs in a practiced motion. It looked down at the glinting metal hilt protruding from its chest. Sydney twisted, and it collapsed with a deflated wail.

"Feel better now?" Alex asked.

"Maybe," she replied. "I'll really feel better when we've been paid."

The cash came two nights later, delivered by a nervous teenager in a hoodie. They barely stayed long enough to count it. The town faded quietly into the darkness as they sped away, headlights glinting on the wet pavement. By the time the sun's rays summited the mountains, it was just a distant memory.

I’m quite good with words

My mind is full of them

Bouncing around like tennis balls

I’m blanking

How can I say this

You’ll be so hurt

I’m sorry

It’s not you

It’s me

Too corny

Try again

You don’t act like you care about me

Okay, at least it’s honest

Delivered.

Ding

You’re right, I haven’t been trying

I’m not ready

Sorry I’ve been a donkey to you

Insert second meaning of donkey

Ask my friends

Does this mean he’s done?

End it girl

Sip on my 3rd glass of wine

Laughing when I should be sad

Feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder

Light and free

Yeah, one sided relationships don’t work

Thanks for letting me try it out with you

Don’t want that again

Delivered.

Ding

I really did care about you, I’m just confused

Look at the text

Look at my friends

He’s not hurt

Neither am I

I choose my friends

I choose myself

I choose my happiness

Realized something

I don’t need you to care about me

Because you know who I have at the end of the day

Me

I would like to say the word that I think is most overused is~ like.

It can be used in like so many ways.

Like when you like someone.

When you like something—

Maybe even when you like have to give a speech to the class, or get ready for a debate & you end up using like in like almost every sentence.

One thing I have discovered is that sometimes I like to use like a lot.

What more can I say, like, it is a likeable word.

I’m not sure when it was first used, but it’s been one of the words that I’ve like used a LOT since my early days as a kid.

My sister and I would use it almost in ALL of our sentences as kids.

Until my one of our cousins couldn’t take it anymore (I guess it kinda, sorta, got on his nerves, maybe)

Anyway, he helped us to develop more vocabulary and build on using other words apart from only the one word we really liked.

Hmm, I guess I have to remember to thank him for helping my sis and I with our use of mostly using like whenever we like wanted.

[After using this word so much I had to double check if I spelled it right.]

#ReallyOverused

Thursday, 23 April, 2020

On unsteady feet

he shuffles through the kitchen

preparing for work.

His eyes no longer shining.

I see the toll of labor,

body and mind,

overworked at the mills

where there is no rest.

It’s not worth it for that wage.

My love, please quit ... or get fired!