the tenderness of your stare

brings warmth to my wounds,

my fractured scars

it wraps them around in a blanket

( and they have been cold

for so long, you see )

you heal pieces of past traumas

without even knowing it, my dearest

the ones that have been with me

for years ( decades? yes, perhaps )

and you do it

just by the love that pulsates

out of that universe

that sometimes you let me see

out of those deep brown, amber hues

at once you may feel

too much of any one thing

or too little

(leave it all behind)

clashing of footsteps on the stairs just

behind you

remember when you used to think hands

would grab your ankles going down the basement stairs

just like the

fridge door shutting in the middle of the night

and

should you be afraid of the dark

or not

(leave it all behind)

its not the same sky

just

the same breath of dark

im living in the space between walls

pressed between the drywall and the insulation

like a flower in a journal page

it keeps me still

it keeps me pretty

in the silence i can remember all the things ive never done

in the stillness i can feel my hands create what they never have

to want for more

to blink the metronome over and over again

to wonder where it all went

im living in the cracks in the sidewalk

next to a weed that smells nice but has nasty vines

i eat dirt when im bored

i wiggle through the earth like a worm

i have big ideas but

my hands dont exist

in the sunlight i dry up and sigh and sparkle

in the passing shade i close my eyes and sleep

never wanting more

never passing the time but always feeling time pass

never knowing where it all went

i want for more,

somehow

Roughly 9 months ago, Prose kindly posted a video of me reading Chapter 3 of my ongoing story "New Adventurers: Enter The Pirate & Crew!" on their YouTube page (Prose's video of this can be found here: https://youtu.be/Z5Wk04o_KH0?si=lJMzxqbvEtrO-IGU).

My intention was to make audio versions of all of the chapters I've written, but at this time I only have access to my phone and a headset to do so. I am currently enrolled in a voice acting course that teaches everything needed to become a voice actor, including equipment to purchase. Once I complete the course and get set up, I will resume making audio versions of my stories. But in the meantime, I recorded one more for fun - a silly, non-canon conclusion to the cliffhanger from Chapter 3 that can be heard here for free: https://audiomack.com/roses311sublime/song/hiatus-chapter-35-of-new-adventurers-enter-the-pirate-crew

The text from this story can be read below. Thanks for reading and listening!

*****

The Pirate deflected the robber's bullets with his sword, then smirked at the robber.

"About time the author recorded something new, so you could finally deal with my attack." The robber said as he glared at the Pirate. "Wasn't Chapter 3 recorded back in 2021? Why is this one only called 3.5?"

"Because the author is going on a hiatus from recording." The Pirate answered calmly.

"Hiatus?" Janet questioned. "But he hasn't recorded anything in a while! And now he is doing this half chapter and stopping there?"

"Afraid so Janet." The Pirate replied. "He has previously made audio recordings with a phone app and a headset. But he plans to return and record all of our adventures once he has better equipment, and also after he has completed a voice acting course he's taking."

"How exactly do you know all this?" The robber asked.

"Well, I do come from his mind, so I was able to learn this from there." The Pirate replied.

"Why can't I get the same info then? I come from his mind too!"

"Let's be honest here, you're kind of lame. I mean, your name is 'the robber.' This story is actually currently written up to Chapter 137, and you definitely don't make it past the first arc. I don't think you even get mentioned again, though I would have to check.... or our author would have to check at least...."

"Shut up! I'll make sure none of you forget me ever again! And I have a real name! It's - "

Janet knocked the robber out with a swift uppercut, ending his role in this chapter.

"Thanks Janet. Like I said, our author promises to return and record the rest of our tales at some point. I'm not sure when, but I look forward to how we'll sound once he has proper gear and education."

"That's fine, but will our adventures continue in the meantime?" Janet asked.

"Absolutely!" The Pirate answered, realizing how much this story has turned into a shameless commercial. "Go to the website theprose.com, and search for author Roses311Sublime. Our new adventures can be found there!"

*****

Two more shameless self-promotions:

The canon follow up to Chapter 3 can be read here: https://theprose.com/post/409613/a-new-antagonist

Chapter links for the current arc can be found here: https://www.theprose.com/post/746871/the-small-town-magic-arc

The bitter taste of things I’ve said

The callous face of who I’ve been

The only things for which I reach

A gentler touch

—and kinder speech

its that time of year again when

my brain refuses to let me move.

so on my bed i lay

wondering if i even care if i turn

into a husk

here and now.

feeling inconsequential.

Why is it always the people you want to stay

Leave this world too soon?

Leaving loved ones behind

Encumbered by grief

Without a voice to hear

Once more

And yet

the ones who hurt you the most

Live the longest

Just an hour away

Spewing lies

To make themselves the hero

And you the villain

In their version of a fairytale

Mum died

Dad lived

What a cruel twist of fate

And it keeps turning

His absence in life a constant reminder of a hoax called childhood

Facade of fake niceties

Shattered dreams and promises

Where I learned monsters

Are real

Her absence a reminder that what was good and pure can not exist in this hell we call earth

It will be swallowed up

She was too much for this world

Misunderstood

Unloved

Abused

An absence of a body that bound her here gives freedom to a spirit that soars

For we are more than this body that binds

I hope she is everywhere, flittering in the air

Fulfilling every dream

Chasing sunsets

But selfishly

I wish she was here

With me

Her little one

Drinking morning tea

Hugging and rubbing my back

Unwaveringly proud

To help me make sense of this cold world on fire

A world that has broken me too many times to count

A fragile broken bowl

Bound back together

by fire and gold

I too am too much for this world

But this is my superpower

My mother told me so

Is it worth remembering what I came here to find?

Something in me which long has died

With none to mourn it but the slowly drifting waves

That quietly say their prayers.

And the hours in their dull passing.

They lament alone and empty

For I did not know them, those hours.

I thought I could know the sea

But to know her is to drown

And always at sunset as she glistens

Like a woman made of silver and gold

Before the watchless night.

______________________________

A wilderness of mirrors

reflect on your soul

While many false exteriors

extricate a toll

The false doctrines expose

societal doubt

As answers presuppose

no one is without

In a life full of deceptions

where reality is hard to find

There are no exceptions

in the theater of the mind