I check the time on the clock. A breeze whips by and I shiver. I can feel the goosebumps all over my skin. Why did I have to get this power in fricking February? I start my journey nevertheless, shivering endlessly. I'm not going to let a little cold stop me. Before I just wanted to make shit levitate and scare old people, but now, I have a mission. I hop into a car and wait. A lady puts luggage into a car and draves off towards the airport. Perfect. We drive ten to twenty minutes, and she pulls into the parking lot, sneezing and coughing. Eww. She opens the door and I'm out of there before she can even suspect a thing.

I board a plane to Washington DC and wait. Well, no I don't. I can't exactly sit down since someone will inadvertently sit on me and that would not be fun, and standing still doesn't work when stewardesses are walking down the aiwsles. The ride is bumpy and i have no seatbelt so I try to hold onto a seat, but grab a guy's arm instead and he turns around and sees a cute woman and I think I just stole Cupid's job. Oh well, not my business. I leave after them and wander from the airport towards the White House.

What? Did you think I was going for vacation in the middle of winter? Come on, now.

Well, since you obviously disapprove, I'll summarize. It looked like a murder suicide. The first in history. It's so lovely being invisible because it's hard to find fingerprints that aren't there. I don't exactly know wht'll happen next, but it the Senate and House listened to the floating picture of Hiram Revels (What? He was the first I could find!), some things are going to change, or else. I still have two more of these invisibility pills left and I'm not afraid to use them! I board a plane to Trinidad and Tobago and wake up to an island paradase with millions of dollars in my bank account.

A girl can dream, okay?

Couldn't the word palindrome

have been instead, a palindrome?

And couldn't the word alliteration 

contain more inward

alliteration?

and couldn't the word onomatopoeia 

be somehow an onomatopoeia?

The word lisp is cruel,

and self demonstrative.

And isn't the word hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia 

also cruel,

albeit very humorous?

And couldn't we have tried

just a little harder?

Our written words could be made of 

symbols, full of meaning.

Other people so have that.

And we couldn't have different words

for to, too, and two.

and for which and witch.

And our spelling could be a little less tragic and

impossible.

I know its asking too much

And at least we have 

Caesura 

and

Susurrus.

I feel like the world wants to kill me from the inside out.

They all want to kill me, because I want to kill them.

I don't mean too, I just hurt everyone around me.

I choose to be alone, I'm not lonely.

You think you want to die, but in reality, you're already dead.

I am a prisoner in my own mind.

Suicide is stupid? You know what's even more stupid. Making people think suicide is the only answer.

Once upon a time, there was a happy little girl

I'm tired of being that friend that nobody cares about.

I don't fit in. I don't fall in love. I can't live to fall in love. I am lonely. Darkness is around me, and I can't take it. I am alone, and love isn't worth it for me anymore.

I'm afraid to be happy, because when I'm happy. Something bad always happens

Don't cry, didn't I tell you to kill your own emotions.

People cannot win against their loneliness.

It's hard to wake up from a nightmare, when you're not even asleep.

For once in my life, I just want to be good enough.

You always talk about ending it. Always think about it. Now do it.

I just want to be important to someone.

I'm Okay.

I am depressed because I eat. I eat because I'm depressed.

I'm ready to become one of the stars.

I forgot how to be happy.

Sometimes the best memories. Are sad. Because you'll know they will never happen again.

I'm sort of miserable.

I'm often silent when I'm screaming inside.

I hate this. I hate everyone. I hate living

If I tell you I hate you, I hate myself a thousand times worst.

A girl who has been hurt and put down so much will never believe your compliment.

People only notice you if you're pretty or if you're dead.

The worst part about being strong is that no one asks if you're okay.

My worst enemy is my memory.

I make friends, and then suddenly I can't bear to be around them.

What a truly horrible world.

Walk a day in my shoes, then you can judge me

I wanted your love.

I'm slowly giving up.

I look happy. People think I'm happy. I smile for you. I'll laugh to tears with you. But I'm not happy. I want to kill myself every day. Just to watch the blood flow and feel the sweet sting of release as I leave this world.

I want someone to hate me, at least then I know someone knows I exist.

Why am I depressed? What did I do to become depressed? Oh yeah, I lost all faith in humanity.

Honestly, I think my back is a target practice for knife throwers.

Make it happen, shock everyone.

I was going through hell, and your solution was to leave.

I deserve everything bad that has happened to me.

At the end of the day, we all have to hold our tongue and watch.

"OK we're in a tree. Why?"

"Have a drink."

"Jesus you guys really do carry it everywhere. Would you put your shirt back on please?"

"For a fat old man you climb well. Drink! Do you really grab them by the pussy?"

"Hagh. I need a chaser...Jesus. Sometimes."

"You are new to politics! I lie there and beckon them to molest me."

"That is certainly one to try, Vladimir. May I call you Vladimir?"

"We have drunk vodka together and talked of women. Now to business. I will pull out of Syria if you will scream like a chicken and fly from this tree."

"You're kidding."

"No I'm  serious.  Yell like a chicken and leap for the ground."

"No, you're testing me. You want to see how far you can push me."

"Well done old man! NATO is in good hands. "

"I have a counterproposal. You join NATO and we'll pull out of the UN."

"Ha ha ha!"

"Seriously."

"No no no. Now you are joking with me."

"How can you tell?"

"You didn't tweet about it first."

"Ouch."

"Aw, now I have offended! Save your wits for how you'll get down."

"Same as you I expect."

"No my friend, shirtless super Vlad will simply jump."

"Yeah?"

"Yes! And now AAAAH!"

"Ugh. Oh my God."

"Bloated idiot! You could have killed me!"

"Let that be lesson Putin. You never know when I'll pounce. Like a jungle cat. An ocelot? A jaguar. Pounce like a jaguar. Help me stand up."

"Soil yourself!"

"Aw come back! Gah. Still a better summit than Vienna. Foo. Gotta breathe a minute."

The sea nipping at my heels,

followed my footsteps across the

vast flat sand, erasing them.

It stalked me, waiting until I turned

to dash up, and, spuming, run across my feet

foaming and sputtering.

I turned, watched as it

receded, laughing and flurrying sand

while sea gulls laughed, also,

stalking clams and gorging on garbage,

wheeling through the sky,

they are disgusting and elegant,

the red strip on their bills

beckoning. 

I met him on the stairs as soon as I started up them, I walked towards a familiar tune I couldn’t put my finger on, it was being whistled by this man, jeez it was on the tip of my tongue. As soon as I faced him, I froze, couldn’t move a damn muscle. I was on my way up; he was on his way down, ironic really. He had this smirk on his face that confirmed this was no accident. He looked nothing like I had expected, apparently all those Sunday school rumors were bullshit. He wore a slick jacket, red pinstripes on black with a bowler’s hat of the same variety. Gold watch and a goatee as dark as I’ve ever seen. Anyway, our eyes were locked. I couldn’t break that staring contest to save my life, or my soul. His were all pupils, not a trace of blue, brown, green or hazel. What was the name of that song god dammit?! I knew I had heard it before. For some reason that was all I could think of, I couldn’t do anything else, I was barely even breathing. And then he said something, “excuse me”. This peeled me from my petrified pose to realize I was in the middle of the stair case the whole time. I couldn’t make words, all I could do was slide to the right just enough to watch him slip by me with that same smirk, skip down the steps with style and out the door. As I stood there dumbfounded, I snapped out of my hypnotized state and continued to the door of my apartment, 7J. It was not until I slid the key into the mechanism and turned the handle that I was sucker punched by a wave of realization. “Highway to hell” by AC/DC, that motherfucker.

I don't know. Everytime I think of something the opposite can also be applied. Words like happy or sad are only circumstantial. They change depending on the day. I don't think words can describe me. Only experiences. 

The last minute trip to Disneyland because I miss it so much I almost have a break down. 

The way I wait for my Dog to poop as we walk for longer than I'd like. 

How I still play pretend as an adult.

The time and effort into sewing a costume just right and yet will never be fully happy with it. 

3am fast food runs when I can't stop craving those damn fries even though i shouldn't give in and it's going to make me sick. But I do it anyway.

The way my mood can swing in an instant and i try to control it but, it's still there and I can't help but lash out sometimes. 

The fact that i adore Movie scores more than the movies sometimes. Also more than regular music because i feel the emotions so much more and it's helping me controlling how I feel this time. 

Even these words cannot penetrate who I really am.

beneath the weight of your hips,

    i am all mouth, folding like wax paper.

you are turning ashes into

    house fires, writing legend into history.

and now that lugano is underwater,

    we say we are on our way to the ocean;

you forget we made up our minds

    to stay. you remember now. i know

you are a darker shade of grey

    than most artists know what to do with,

but you always hurt the ones you love —

    so when you broke my heart last night,

i thought you loved me the most.

    we have to make sense of the chaos

around us. after you fall back,

    i lie in post-coital tristesse, learning

how to breathe again, how to

    make sense of reality. which is temporary;

forever is an empty word,

    negative space, less definite than never.

which is white noise: quiet,

    but not empty. finite, but somehow

incomprehensible and sublime.

    with tired eyes and soulless hands,

we slept, dreamed love into caricature,

    like something else you didn't believe in.

and we are lying by the ocean now,

    as you compare it to your loneliness:

which is worse? i lie awake

    in the small hours, my mind full

of contradictions: you love me

    in words, but your words don't mean

anything. and every time

    i think about you, i feel a little

more lonely, as though it is you,

    and not me. i am afraid to take you

seriously; you laugh and then

    you threaten to leave. you cry and then

you beg me to stay. you

    sing me love songs, ballads about

the romanov children.

    the thousand tragedies of living

and how i make it disappear,

    so swiftly, on lighter feet than the tide.

you say i am haunted by

    the things i have forgotten, but

i don't believe that. i don't

    believe anything you say. to you,

it was just sweater weather.

    to me, it was an epidemic.

this loneliness has generated

    an insatiable need to be closer to you,

to make you want me more.

    because i am all mouth now,

all aching: my eyes white whispers

    in the darkness, my voice breaking

on your name (click here for

    subtitles). and your knees touch mine

as you breathe into

    my mouth — all i am, all i wanted;

you kiss me as though

    you will never kiss anyone else again.

"Hey."

"Good morning, Mr. ?"

"Darling, it hasn't even been a minute and you're asking my name? Tsk, tsk."

"Answer the question."

"Ooh, feisty, I like it."

"..."

"Okay, okay, the name's Lucifer. What's yours, honey?"

"Did you just-- Did you call me honey? Pfft, for a devil your vocab sure is limited."

"Hey, take that back."

"Nah."

"You are a feisty one for a dead person, y'know? Most people I see are crying or hysterical by now."

"Nah, I quite expected I'd end up here sooner or later."

"Heh, you're one of a kind, baby. So why?"

"One, don't call me baby. I may be the daughter of the devil, but no. And second, I'm pretty sure heaven doesn't allow cops in especially when they killed criminals."

"Well, what can you say, you killed a person. You broke his command-thingy."

"I'm surprised you know about it."

"Heh, it's the basis of judgment. I, myself, disobeyed every last one of 'em. I need to rebel, y'know. Heaven's full of prudes."

"I've always wanted to ask, I'm fine with hell, but how about purgatory?"

"Honey, when there's good, there's bad. There is simply no in-between in His eyes."

"It's just a legend, then?"

"Pretty much, yeh. Hey look, the shore can be seen."

"It's not hot as I expected it."

"Ha. Ha. Hahahahahahaha. Oh my god, curse that damned ass."

"Hahahahahahaha."

"Never expected to have a laugh with a passenger."

"Never expected to have a laugh with the devil, too."

"Touche. Wait, I'll just anchor the boat."

"Okay. Oh, and the name's Sianus."

"I know, Sianus, I know."

"See ya' later?"

"Probably. But you'd be afraid of me."

"This is hell, Leviathan. I've lost the sense of fear a long time ago."